INSIDE STORIES BEHIND AREA REAL ESTATE DEALS
It can be hard to take $100 million sales seriously when they come without things like a house to tear down. To spoof it all with a keen (and sometimes cruel) eye comes Miles Jaffe, son of starchitect Norman Jaffe, who died mysteriously in the ocean off Bridgehampton in 1993. In his self-published The Hamptons Dictionary (www.thehamptonsdictionary.com), Jaffe skewers the new Hamptons elite and wannabes, just like he did six years ago with his nukethehamptons.com website. This time, instead of going after the obvious targets for being louche, gauche monsters of social climbing, Jaffe has coined new words to ridicule the players and strivers by way of bold-named, shamefaced greed. Here are a few examples:
million dollar smile, n., The expression on a real estate broker's face at a Hamptons closing.
philandrapist, n., A real estate developer. ("J.R., meet Carol. She's a philandrapist, too.")
unreal estate, n., Property in the Hamptons.
Big Commissions, Big Demands
The broker answers the phone at 2:30 am. A bright, sunny, fully-awake voice in Australia wants to know if the tennis court that comes with the $20 million property he may buy faces north/south or east/west. The next day, another prospective buyer—who had already opened another property's fridge, uninvited, to sample its food and drink—asks if he can try out the pool.
Superbroker Dolly Lenz, of Prudential Douglas Elliman, said no, but the hedgie dove in, anyway. "The young financial guys want to be considered a little outrageous. I think they do it for the effect, to try and impress people," Lenz adds.
Others ask for furniture to be repositioned in a feng shui kind of way. Über-wealthy clients are making brokers jump through hoops this summer. The richer the clients, the larger their demands.